2012 - The Year of Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it.....when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out.....ENOUGH!!!! Enough fighting and crying and struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change....or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that no one is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that is OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you, or didn't do for you, and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it is not always about YOU. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to shift through all the shit you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between WANTING and NEEDING and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you have outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, and respect and you won't settle for less.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

adapted from "Awakening" by Sonny Carroll